Jason. My story is different, but similar. I am not a man who lost a wife and daughter to suicide. I am a woman who lost a father and brother to suicide. This happened during the mid to late 1970s. I healed, but as long as I lived in fear, I didn't get better. Once I accepted my feelings, I began to move forward again. I'm 75 years old now, and most of my life has been without that terrible, overwhelming grief. I'm glad you're here and writing...giving to hurting people. Take good care.
“Fear steals so much joy from grievers.”……… WOW! Im 1259. This was deep and meaningful for me. It sums up everyday. I fight through the pain and worry about the “next devastating shoe to drop”… Thank you for your leadership, emotion sharing, and being there for us. And TY for getting me and so many of us out of bed…
i'm tasting the grief of the dead, the living who no longer reach, and the versions of myself i can never return to. thank you for reminding me that every loss has its own language and none of it deserves to be feared. please keep sharing your journey.
1139 days since my son left. Not scared, not cured, not over it (as if!), but maybe healed. I still talk to him every day. It does get easier, but it never will be easy. Grief. The price of love.
At the risk of sounding reductionistic, I've been telling myself a story lately that the most valuable outcomes of working with me as a coach are twofold.
1. Making the parts of a person feel seen and appreciated.
2. Facilitating a pathway for the whole person to tolerate aversiveness.
All the action items are fine, but they don't move the needle more than these two.
Can I assume that somatics have been instrumental in this, Jason?
Not surprised to hear that you're finding more presence is the powerful place from which to operate.
Also not surprised to hear that before this, something in you (what I would call a part) was less than charitable to the perspectives you hold now. Parts tend to be rigid. They don't tend to do nuance or charitable interpretation.
Jason. My story is different, but similar. I am not a man who lost a wife and daughter to suicide. I am a woman who lost a father and brother to suicide. This happened during the mid to late 1970s. I healed, but as long as I lived in fear, I didn't get better. Once I accepted my feelings, I began to move forward again. I'm 75 years old now, and most of my life has been without that terrible, overwhelming grief. I'm glad you're here and writing...giving to hurting people. Take good care.
“Fear steals so much joy from grievers.”……… WOW! Im 1259. This was deep and meaningful for me. It sums up everyday. I fight through the pain and worry about the “next devastating shoe to drop”… Thank you for your leadership, emotion sharing, and being there for us. And TY for getting me and so many of us out of bed…
You are so welcome brother and thank you so much for your kind words.
Can I ask about who you lost? What’s their name and a few things you love most about them?
i'm tasting the grief of the dead, the living who no longer reach, and the versions of myself i can never return to. thank you for reminding me that every loss has its own language and none of it deserves to be feared. please keep sharing your journey.
There is no "grief," there is only grieving. Grief makes it sound almost uniform. No two are the same. It's a verb, not a noun.
1139 days since my son left. Not scared, not cured, not over it (as if!), but maybe healed. I still talk to him every day. It does get easier, but it never will be easy. Grief. The price of love.
At the risk of sounding reductionistic, I've been telling myself a story lately that the most valuable outcomes of working with me as a coach are twofold.
1. Making the parts of a person feel seen and appreciated.
2. Facilitating a pathway for the whole person to tolerate aversiveness.
All the action items are fine, but they don't move the needle more than these two.
Can I assume that somatics have been instrumental in this, Jason?
Thanks so much for reading and commenting brother. And the answer is yes.
It's helped me understand what "being present" actually means and develop the capability to do it more often when it matters most.
It was not that long ago that I thought people who talked the way I talk now were kind of loopy :)
Yeah, that sounds about right.
Not surprised to hear that you're finding more presence is the powerful place from which to operate.
Also not surprised to hear that before this, something in you (what I would call a part) was less than charitable to the perspectives you hold now. Parts tend to be rigid. They don't tend to do nuance or charitable interpretation.
Appreciate you, brother.