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When Grief Changes Who You Are: Parenting, Purpose, and the Long Road After Loss

A Conversation with Chris Coulter

What happens when loss doesn’t just break your heart—but permanently changes who you are?

In this deeply honest conversation, Jason MacKenzie sits down with Chris Coulter, founder of The Mentor Well and creator of Lifeline Parenting Workshops, to explore what life actually looks like ten years after the suicide of a child. Together, they move beyond platitudes about “healing” and into the lived reality of grief: how it reshapes identity, relationships, parenting, leadership, and purpose.

Chris shares the story of his daughter Maddie. He talks about her kindness, humor, and fierce independence…and the devastating ripple effects of her death. He speaks candidly about guilt, shame, anxiety, and the long, uneven process of learning to stop trying to become the person he was before loss, and instead accept the person he is now.

This episode is not about quick fixes or inspirational soundbites. It’s about what actually helps over time.

In this episode, we explore:

  • Why grief doesn’t “end,” and why that doesn’t mean you’re failing

  • The nervous system impact of traumatic loss and how it shows up years later

  • How parenting changes when a child is struggling with mental health

  • Why teens stop talking to parents and what actually helps reopen communication

  • The difference between “fix it” conversations and “feel it” conversations

  • The hidden cost of advice-giving, and the power of listening instead

  • How mentorship can support teens in ways parents often can’t

  • Where mentorship ends, and when professional mental health support is essential

  • How purpose can emerge from loss without erasing the pain

  • Why remembering a child by talking about them and sharing stories matters more than people realize

  • The tension between telling hard stories and not overwhelming others

  • What grief teaches about compassion, leadership, boundaries, and meaning

Chris also shares how his work with The Mentor Well was shaped directly by what he wishes his daughter, and his family, had access to during her darkest moments. His approach focuses on emotional intelligence, lived experience, and creating safe, non-judgmental spaces where young people feel seen and heard.

This conversation is for:

  • Parents navigating a child’s mental health challenges

  • Anyone grieving a devastating loss

  • Leaders learning how to hold compassion and accountability at the same time

  • Those wondering whether purpose is still possible after everything changes

If you’ve ever felt like grief rewired your brain, lowered your capacity, or pulled you into a life you never asked for—this episode will help you feel less alone.


About Chris

Chris Coulter is the founder of The Mentor Well and the creator of Lifeline Parenting Workshops. After the loss of his daughter Maddie, Chris committed his life to helping teens build emotional strength and confidence, and helping parents better understand what their children are carrying. His work centers on mentorship, emotional intelligence, and prevention—supporting families before crisis becomes catastrophe.


If you want to explore this further, I’ve written a short guide called The Loss Inside Change.

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