I was pushed into this place of surrender after my divorce. The whole world and I felt like it was all falling into a bottomless voide of hopelessness. I didn't want to be without hope. I griped and fighted and hung on to the dream but I couldn't hold on anymore. Who even was I if I couldn't save, redeem or build? I feel into the abyss of my harshest loneliest fears and feelings. It was awful and now I am coming to love the life that I am in and not the one I wish I had. One thing that helped me wa getting trained in Neuroaffective Touch. I use it in my practice as a way of supporting the body to feel a new experience. It was the one thing that helped me start sleeping at night. Also I just interviewed a man who did Primal Therapy back in the 70s doing full catharsis work and he describes it as the greatest work he's ever done. Once you get through the other side, there's such a sweet peace that is there.
My work as a coach seems to be moving more and more in this direction, towards helping men learn to be with what's arising in the most acute sense of matters.
Most turn to their meaning-making sub-routines. Heck, I still do this, and will probably continue to make this error for the foreseeable, and why not? I'm good at it.
Meaning making is important. It's what distances us from the other apes. Unfortunately, it can also be what distances us from ourselves. It takes us into stories, into our heads, away from what's arising.
With somatics, this which is unfolding right here is exactly what's meaningful. It doesn't require words or metacognition to be meaningful. It is its own meaning. That's not intuitive to apes like us.
I guess I never realized how many people really struggle with feeling their feelings. I hate the hurt that goes with feeling everything down to my bones right now, but I do know that o will walk through this pain and come out the other side. I don’t want to just hobble along day by day. That is what will kill me and for me, it will lead me back to a drink. Thank you, Jason. You give me hope. I know I’m coming from a female perspective and many men and others just can’t process emotions. This sounds like a very promising approach.
Thank you for taking the time to share this Jamey. I appreciate it.
Feeling it down to your bones is what I spent a long time avoiding, and you're doing it without succumbing to booze. That takes a lot of guts in my book.
I hate the hurt too, and some days it still crushes me. But it won't kill me. Avoiding it will.
I know what you're saying, but I don't think it's that most men can't process emotions. A lot of us learned young that it wasn't safe to, and we got good at not doing it.
In all the work I've done with men, I've seen so many guys choose to learn how to face them. It's inspiring and gives me hope for all the generations who follow us.
I was pushed into this place of surrender after my divorce. The whole world and I felt like it was all falling into a bottomless voide of hopelessness. I didn't want to be without hope. I griped and fighted and hung on to the dream but I couldn't hold on anymore. Who even was I if I couldn't save, redeem or build? I feel into the abyss of my harshest loneliest fears and feelings. It was awful and now I am coming to love the life that I am in and not the one I wish I had. One thing that helped me wa getting trained in Neuroaffective Touch. I use it in my practice as a way of supporting the body to feel a new experience. It was the one thing that helped me start sleeping at night. Also I just interviewed a man who did Primal Therapy back in the 70s doing full catharsis work and he describes it as the greatest work he's ever done. Once you get through the other side, there's such a sweet peace that is there.
I agree Julia. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and some of what you learned from it. I really appreciate it!
My work as a coach seems to be moving more and more in this direction, towards helping men learn to be with what's arising in the most acute sense of matters.
Most turn to their meaning-making sub-routines. Heck, I still do this, and will probably continue to make this error for the foreseeable, and why not? I'm good at it.
Meaning making is important. It's what distances us from the other apes. Unfortunately, it can also be what distances us from ourselves. It takes us into stories, into our heads, away from what's arising.
With somatics, this which is unfolding right here is exactly what's meaningful. It doesn't require words or metacognition to be meaningful. It is its own meaning. That's not intuitive to apes like us.
I love the way you put that brother and I agree with all of it.
I find with guys, it helps me to explain it as a superpower for facing anything, no matter how hard it seems, without destroying yourself.
Thanks for commenting as always. I love the work you do with men.
Thank you for always being brutally honest. That is more healing than 1000 platitudes.
Thank you Tricia. I really appreciate you saying that. ❤️
I guess I never realized how many people really struggle with feeling their feelings. I hate the hurt that goes with feeling everything down to my bones right now, but I do know that o will walk through this pain and come out the other side. I don’t want to just hobble along day by day. That is what will kill me and for me, it will lead me back to a drink. Thank you, Jason. You give me hope. I know I’m coming from a female perspective and many men and others just can’t process emotions. This sounds like a very promising approach.
Thank you for taking the time to share this Jamey. I appreciate it.
Feeling it down to your bones is what I spent a long time avoiding, and you're doing it without succumbing to booze. That takes a lot of guts in my book.
I hate the hurt too, and some days it still crushes me. But it won't kill me. Avoiding it will.
I know what you're saying, but I don't think it's that most men can't process emotions. A lot of us learned young that it wasn't safe to, and we got good at not doing it.
In all the work I've done with men, I've seen so many guys choose to learn how to face them. It's inspiring and gives me hope for all the generations who follow us.
I'm pulling for you, friend.