Hey I tried drinking! I bought a bottle of Wild Turkey 101, sat down and rank half of it. Nothing happened. I didn’t feel any different, and I didn’t have a hangover the next morning. I said to myself, “Clearly this isn’t going to work!” If you are going through grief, find something that helps, even a little bit, and embrace it. No matter what anyone else says!
When my wife died, I made no attempt to pretend I was okay. After seeing so many men who do, I realize what a blessing that was. I read a book called “Don’t Waste your Sorrows “ that helped me realize that the only way through the pain was to walk through the pain. Not around it, not over it, not under it, but through it. I have a Chapter in my book called “How to Survive a Devastating Loss and Thrive in the Aftermath “ that onlines the 8 steps I went through in the months following Barbara’s death. If anyone is interested, the book is called “Age Out Loud “ and is available on Amazon. Thank you, Jason for your work. It is so important for men going through devastating loss to know that they are not alone and that it’s okay to not be okay!
Thank you for sharing this, and I’m sorry about Barbara.
What stands out to me is your honesty from the beginning. Not trying to convince yourself or anyone else that you were okay took a lot of courage. Many men don’t see that as an option in the early days. They aren’t choosing avoidance as much as they’re choosing survival with the tools they have at the time.
I agree with you about going through the pain. There really isn’t a way around it. For some men that path is obvious early. For others it only becomes visible later, after they’ve tried everything else first. And often done themselves and the people they love a lot of harm.
I appreciate you sharing your experience without turning it into a standard anyone else has to meet. Stories like yours matter because they show another way is possible.
Thank you for adding this here and for the work you’re doing, friend.
Hey I tried drinking! I bought a bottle of Wild Turkey 101, sat down and rank half of it. Nothing happened. I didn’t feel any different, and I didn’t have a hangover the next morning. I said to myself, “Clearly this isn’t going to work!” If you are going through grief, find something that helps, even a little bit, and embrace it. No matter what anyone else says!
It took me five years to realize what you realized in half a bottle :)
Jason,
When my wife died, I made no attempt to pretend I was okay. After seeing so many men who do, I realize what a blessing that was. I read a book called “Don’t Waste your Sorrows “ that helped me realize that the only way through the pain was to walk through the pain. Not around it, not over it, not under it, but through it. I have a Chapter in my book called “How to Survive a Devastating Loss and Thrive in the Aftermath “ that onlines the 8 steps I went through in the months following Barbara’s death. If anyone is interested, the book is called “Age Out Loud “ and is available on Amazon. Thank you, Jason for your work. It is so important for men going through devastating loss to know that they are not alone and that it’s okay to not be okay!
Thank you for sharing this, and I’m sorry about Barbara.
What stands out to me is your honesty from the beginning. Not trying to convince yourself or anyone else that you were okay took a lot of courage. Many men don’t see that as an option in the early days. They aren’t choosing avoidance as much as they’re choosing survival with the tools they have at the time.
I agree with you about going through the pain. There really isn’t a way around it. For some men that path is obvious early. For others it only becomes visible later, after they’ve tried everything else first. And often done themselves and the people they love a lot of harm.
I appreciate you sharing your experience without turning it into a standard anyone else has to meet. Stories like yours matter because they show another way is possible.
Thank you for adding this here and for the work you’re doing, friend.